Written by Charpa93
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Saturday, 12 March 2011

image for Justin Bieber Claims Two-Bit Punk Look Only Temporary
"Hey, Kim, call me."

Teen heartthrob, Justin Bieber has just issued a public explanation why he is looking more and more like a two-bit punk every day. "I've stopped shaving so I can grow a mustache," said an enthusiastic Bieber.

Unfortunately, coupled with his new haircut, Bieber's lip hair is getting some negative comments due to the fact that he is beginning to look like something straight out of a "Godfather" movie.

"I promise my fans," said Bieber, "that this awkward stage of growing out my 'stache will pass, and I won't look like a dope hustler for much longer.

Sources close to Bieber claim that the 17-year old is hoping that the mustache will make him appear more grown up and help him get girlfriends a bit older than him. They say that he has never really gotten over his crush on Kim Kardashian and is hoping on a classic, ruggedly handsome look along the lines of Tom Selleck or Sasha Cohen Baron.

"I don't know if I can do it or not," claims Bieber, "but I'd sure like to try and woo Kim away from Kris Humphries," whom Bieber claims is so "stashe-less."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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