Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 12 March 2011

image for A Heartbroken Justin Timberlake Seeks Solace In The Sympathetic Arms of The Stunningly Sexy Mila Kunis
Mila Kunis says that Justin Timberlake hung the moon and Neptune. (Photo courtesy of Macaulay Culkin).

HOLLYWOOD - Hollywood has the reputation of being "The Throw-Away Relationship Capital of The World."

And there is no better example than Justin Timberlake who recently parted ways with his partner of three years and then the next day found himself being consoled in the willing arms of one of the stars of the Black Swan Mila Kunis.

Bedroom Pillow Talk reported that Timberlake still had that "Biel Smell" (fragrance) about him as he was no doubt telling Mila to kiss his boo-booed heartbroken lips and make them all better.

The word on the celluloid streets of "Gollywood" is that Jessica Biel broke up with Justin, but Timberlake says that it is the other way around and it was he who actually dumped Biel.

Timberlake sat down with Bedroom Pillow Talk's Summersetter Faxx and told her that there are two reasons why he broke up with Jessica.

The former singer with the all-boy band 'NSync, stated that he had been after Jessie, as he and her dentist call her, to remove the unsightly tattoo located on the right side (our left) of her stomach.

Justin said that it is shaped just like the state of Arizona, which he does not care for due to reasons that he did not want to mention.

Jessie refused to get the tattoo laserly removed saying that the tattoo was a high school graduation gift from her maternal grandmother Vonda "Fluffy" Vermintelli, 84, and that there was no way she was ever going to remove it, even if yes, it did look like Arizona, which she also detests for reasons she did not want to go into as well.

Timberlake also had asked Biel on at least seven different occasions to go in for a tongue reduction procedure. He told her that her tongue was ridiculously gigantic and that it really bothered the heck out of him especially whenever she French kissed him.

Justin noted that just this past Valentine's Day, Jessica got so carried away with her French kissing that she almost knocked one of his tonsils loose.

He told her that she would have to definitely do something about that Amazon woman tongue of hers before she ended up knocking both of his tonsils down into his stomach.

Jessica refused saying that it helped her with her digestion by breaking down every single food item that she ate and reducing it to mere pablum.

Mila Kunis recently ended an eight (8) year relationship with the star of the Home Alone movie series Macaulay Culkin who is no doubt right now, home alone.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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