Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 12 March 2011

image for Celebrity Apprentice: Richard Hatch Has Not Been Fired By Donald Trump - But He Is Headed To Prison (Again!)
Richard Hatch shown at his 49th birthday party. (Photo courtesy of Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio).

PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island - Richard Hatch who is appearing on the television reality show Celebrity Apprentice has not been fired by Donald Trump but he has been ordered back to prison for violating the conditions of his being released from prison after having served four years for Ipso Facto Non Payitus of Income Taxiviticus.

Hatch failed to pay income tax on the $1 million first prize he received back in 2000, for winning the very first Survivor reality show ever, Survivor: Borneo.

United States District Court Judge Willie "The Heavy Gavel" Klaxonburg informed Mr. Hatch, 49, that he will be remanded back to The Condoleezza Rice Prison For Men in Woonsocket, Rhode Island.

Judge Klaxonburg also noted that Hatch had several unpaid parking tickets, several unpaid speeding tickets, and an outstanding ticket for walking down a busy street during rush hour in Providence dressed as Lady Gaga in a Filet Mignon costume.

Hatch argued with the judge that it was not a Filet Mignon costume and that it was actually a New York Strip Steak outfit.

Richard, or Dick, as his Coast Guard boyfriend, Rear Admiral Wicker F. Gluttongarden calls him said that he truly believes that the real reason he is going back to prison is because of a vendetta against him by two of his fellow Celebrity Apprentice members David "Little Person" Cassidy and Jose "Mr. Steroids" Canseco.

David Cassidy, whom Hatch actually hit twice during the first episode of this season's Celebrity Apprentice, became extremely upset when Hatch referred to him as being a "Little Person."

Cassidy told fellow contestant Jose Canseco, who cannot stand Lady Dick, that he wanted for him to help him find a way to discredit Mr. Hatch for having called him a "Little Person."

Canseco who is no stranger to courtrooms himself figured that he would find a way to somehow be able to use his influence to get the word out and put the bug, about Hatch's sarcastically arrogant nature, in the ears of Judge Klaxonburg.

Since most of the Celebrity Apprentice shows have already been filmed it should really not matter if Richard Hatch is sent to prison or not.

Judge Klaxonburg is the judge who recently ruled in the case of Rhode Island resident Tiorello Ochocuatro in the landmark case of Tiorello Ochocuarto Vs. The State of Arizona in which Ochocuatro was awarded $19.7 million due to the fact that he was illegally arrested in the parking lot of a Taco Bell in Sedona, Arizona.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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