Written by Neil Levine
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Topics: New York, Washington

Thursday, 15 September 2005

image for Chucky Announces His Big Ambitions
Chucky's New Political Reality

New York, Washington , DC and darkened smokescreens everywhere--- Chucky, the oh so sweet on screen movie horror and off screen local devil may care boy toy, has officially announced his intention to run for the Senate from New York.


"After making so many slasher movies, I am ready to take my Act to the next level: the United States political stage," he dramatically announced in front of a living audience of cheery breathing horror film aficionados. "Bring on reality. Better, bring on unreal hopes and dreams where I am even better positioned to perform cinematic miracles."


"Scaring local theatre audiences is nothing compared to what I could do with a national audience. Just think of the consequences, the horror of it all. The sort of repercussions I can create. Let me in to the echo chamber and I will get your juices flowing in anticipation of my next political road kill stunned by the highlights of my media focus."


"I can rock the boat and sock it to them with the best of times."


"Just remember I have a very clear track record that is simple to pick up. I love to hog the spotlight. I show no mercy to my victims. I don't even care who gets hurt. I am the Fantastic Chucky and let me tell you it doesn't get any more fantastic than that. Nothing is too big for me to sink my tender hooks into or too small to let get away without warning about the dire consequences of what is going to happen without me laying the gravy trail on thick. Milking human misery is nothing compared to reveling in stories of how to save people while allowing me to wreck havoc simultaneously in order to give you, my darling audience, cheap thrills and spills."


"Think of me as Robby Hook, the smarmy snarky Captain of the goody gum drop Pirate Ship Take It Or Leave It. This is my life. Collecting booty for the Party. Spreading the largesse larger and larger until the terror overtakes everyone when facing a tragedy of untold dimensions. I look upon Katrina as a Weapon of Mass Destruction and am happy to kick up my heels at this messy opportunity."


"There is no need to be bashful. I've got my hand in your pocket. I am a power beholden until myself so I will or will not save you from a fate worse than debt while I debate how to share the pain while immensely increasing my pleasure in working the misery angle."

"Judges are nothing in my book. Mere chattel on the way to increasing my control of the tortured outcome. I am Chucky and I am in in a kind of be killed whirl."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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