Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 31 March 2011

image for Charlie Sheen Has Agreed To Appear On "The Vampire Diaries"
Sheen as he'll appear on an upcoming episode of "The Vampire Diaries." (Photo courtesy of Boo Boo Stewart).

LOS ANGELES - Charlie Sheen, aka "The Man Without A Show" has just agreed to appear on an upcoming episode of the very popular TV series The Vampire Diaries.

The shows producer Manolo Middlezuck confirmed that he met with Sheen at a Tacos, Tacos, and Mucho More Tacos near Sheen's home in Sherman Oaks.

Middlezuck said that at first he had one hell of a time trying to get a word in edge-wise since all Charlie wanted to talk about was how horribly bad he had been treated by Chucky "The Ducky" Lorre, the creator, producer, and writer of his former 'Gold Mine' of a show Two and A Half Men.

Middlezuck noted that for the first 15 minutes Carlos Estevez, Charlie's real name ranted on about how much he hated the fact that none of his castmates had so much as called him to offer words of support.

Sheen was especially critical of co-star Jon Cryer, who portrayed Alan, his brother. Sheen said that everything that Cryer has he has because of his salary from the show and that includes his new Former Governor Sarah Palin Commemorative High-Powered Telescopic Rifle aka "Old Crosshairs."

Charlie then weirdly stated that yes it was in fact a truthful 'winning' fact that he had taken gold bars and literally shoved them in the pants pockets of not only Cryer (Alan) but of fellow cast members Angus T. Jones (Jake), Holland Taylor (Evelyn), and Conchatta Ferrell (Berta) as well.

Sheen said that 17-year-old Angus T. made more money per week ($300,000) than any other kid in the history of American television including Gary Coleman, the Olsen twins, David Cassidy, and Ron "Opie" Howard.

Charlie had read in the supermarket tabloid Just Saying that Holland Taylor who portrays his mother had told CBS's Katie Couric that Sheen was nothing but a self-centered, egomaniac who thought that the world owed him a living.

She went on to say that she would love to meet with him face-to-face to tell him that because of him she may have to end up selling one of her three Rolls Royce's.

And Conchatta Ferrell, said that before it is all over she may end up having to go on food stamps because food does not grow on trees. She paused and revealed that her chocolate chip cookie habit alone costs her about $75 per day.

Angus T. Jones could not be reached for a comment as he was reportedly out on a date with the "Bachelor's" Emily Maynard. And Jon Cryer's butler stated that Cryer had gone to the Hollywood Hills Unemployment Office.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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