Written by Skoob1999
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Thursday, 10 March 2011

image for Spoof Writer Attributes Overnight Success To Baked Beans
Brain Food - On Toast. (Toast Out Of Shot)

A soaraway Spoof superstar success, whose brother looks a bit like Charles Hawtrey out of the Carry On films has attributed his success to the regular inclusion of baked beans in his diet.

The writer, who can't be named for legal reasons (Reddon) today sat back astonished as his stories of peurile drivel amassed an unprecedented number of internet 'hits.'

"I've had over fifty 'hits' so far today," he explained. "When you think about it, that's the equivalent of a busload of people. It's truly amazing, and I put it all down to baked beans."

It seems that Reddon - who is widely (and possibly mistakenly) believed in certain elite circles to also be working under the nom de plumes of Skoob and Martin Shuttlecock - is a big fan of the baked haricot bean in tomato sauce as pioneered by Heinz and which can now be purchased in a cheaper version for as little as 8p a tin.

Nutritionists insist that baked beans do indeed constitute a healthy eating option, being low in fat and high in fibre, and as famous foodie, Jamie Gulliver once pointed out:

"There's no need to be extravagant when you're buying beans. You don't have to pay 82p a tin for the top brands - you can buy the 8p a tin version, although the sauce will be crap. No problem - just liven it up a bit with whatever you happen to have in the cupboard."

A recent survey conducted by the Office Of Damned Lies And Statistics revealed that a staggering 84% of internet humourist 'entertainers' supplemented their diets by eating baked beans, leading to speculation that baked beans actually constitute 'brain food' - except in Reddon's case.

"I like baked beans on toast - sometimes with a fried egg," he said yesterday.

The mind boggles. And the hits keep flooding in.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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