Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 11 March 2011

image for Vanessa Hudgens Says Starring In "Beastly" Gave Her Chills - But Good Old-Fashioned Chills
The bottle of beer that is used in the movie's "Spin-The-Bottle" scene.

LOS ANGELES - Vanessa sat at a table at The Gunfight At The OK Corral Steak House talking about her latest motion picture.

She told Tequila Tallyho of Left Coast Mirror Magazine that she had never enjoyed making a movie more than she did Beastly.

Vanessa said that working with Alex Pettyfer must have been what Cleopatra working with Anthony was all about minus of course the heavy clothing, the humid Egyptian nights, and of course the asps, those gosh darn asps.

In the film Hudgens stars as Lindy, a high school cheerleader, who knows more cheers than any other cheerleader in the entire state.

Mary Kate Olsen (the shorter half of the Olsen twins) stars as high school student Kendra and Alex Pettyfer portrays Kyle, who is arrogant, sarcastic, conceited, self-centered, arrogant (repeated because he is really, really sickeningly arrogant), and egotistical as the Dickens (Charles).

The main characters attend a teen party at Lindy's house and play the usual teen games, Twister, Gummy Bear Eating Contest, Pass The Ice Cubes, and Spin-The-Bottle.

Well somehow Kyle ends up cheating and making fun of Kendra. She runs into the bathroom to brush her teeth and returns a few minutes later with a can of Glade Air Freshner.

She starts to spray it towards Kyle who gets up and runs off like a little girl into the kitchen, where Lindy's mother is baking a wedding cake for her maiden aunt Fabiola Chumweiser, who is 54, and has never been married.

Kyle jumps over the dog, Fluffy, who is lying on the kitchen floor licking his (blanks) and he goes out towards the garage.

Kendra corners him by using a rake and she proceeds to cast a spell on him. She utters the evil Salem witches phrase, "Mumbo jumbo dumbo doo, sis boom bah and a rah rah too."

And suddenly Kyle is transformed into a horrendous looking creature. Kendra later tells her friends that he kind of looked a little like Blink 182's Travis Barker if you moved all of his tattoos up to his face.

Oprah Winfrey recently said that the movie will definitely make the phrase "Love is never ugly" a very popular one after the film has its premier.

The movie is rated RG-13 due to some beer drinking abuse, Hostess Twinkies abuse, and pepperoni pizza rubbing on the face, stomach, and groin region abuse.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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