Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Pig

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

image for Pig Wanted In Connection With Wolf Death
A lot of huffing and puffing in Toyland

Police in Toyland say they are urgently seeking witnesses to a murder in which a wolf was found burnt to death in a fireplace of a house presumed owned by a pig.

The wolf, who was a Housing Inspector for Toyland Council, had been out-and-about on his rounds, and had already dismantled two houses whose owners had shown a flagrant disregard for planning permission legislation.

The first had thoughtlessly erected a home using only straw, which was deemed 'too flimsy' by the council, and immediately blown away.

The second home, although built more sturdily with wood, contravened building regulations, and was knocked down. No details are available as to what became of the owners.

The third house he visited was found to be of sound brick construction but built 'in the wrong place' - ie. on the inspector's round when he was hungry. Mr Wolf asked to be admitted several times to the property but was refused on each occasion, and decided to act within his set rules of authority, which include attempting to gain access to premises by 'reasonable means'. In this, he met stubborn resistance from the occupant. This, so far, is what eyewitnesses have reported.

It is not known, however, what subsequently took place until police were summoned to the house this afternoon, where they found a pile of wolf bones without skin on them in the fireplace - a sure sign something was amiss.

Police are appealing to anyone who may have seen something to come forward with information.

In a separate wolfy incident in the area only two weeks ago, police found the chopped-up dead body of a wolf who was alleged to have impersonated a little girl's grandma after first having eaten the old woman. A woodcutter was arrested, but later released without charge.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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