Written by Stella Kordun
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Topics: charlie sheen

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Actor Charlie Sheen has described his firing from the hit TV comedy 'Two And A Half Men' as "unconscionable" and possibly "illegable".

Sheen, 45 enraged that TV bosses could be so "shortseated" insists that they have lost the "High-King of the acting and entertaining world" "After all" he said, "How many low paid stars does it take to change a light-bulb?"

"Just imagine, if you will, all the little birdies in the sky,..I have the ability to charm them out of the trees and onto a page, my page as esconced by Twitter..Who in the Goddamn TV world can envisage such a thing!"

It is now apparent that Sheen has a 'hit list' or 'unwanted list' of names that have gone beyond the pale. These include: Two And A Half Men executive producer Chuck Lorre, CBS president Les Moonves and Warner Bros Television Group president Bruce Rosenblum. These "so-called men" are "bums on the crystalline version of the Virgin Mary"

However, Sheen reserves praise for Peter Roth, president of Warner Bros Television, as his heart "was always rooted in fairness and trains of smack-filled envelopes"

"I love that guy. Is he followin' me? Cos I sure am up there with that cool son of a bitch..you know who?..yeah..him..Christ or sumptn.."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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