Written by Telstar
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Topics: Coffee, Colin Firth

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Moody star and Chiswick resident Colin Firth has done it again. Only recently, Chiswick folk were angered at Firth's failure to buy a round, and his claim to feel "rootless" in the leafy West London town.

Now grumpy Colin has upset the locals again with his jibe that there are "too many" coffee shops in the High Road.

Fellow celebrities Ant and Dec hit out at spoilsport Firth, saying, "We think that Chiswick has a continental feel to it. We don't understand how Colin can be so down-beat about our area"

Mrs. Jean Pout, a long-standing resident remarked to this reporter, "If anything, I think we could benefit from more coffee"

Colin Firth has still allegedly refused to buy a round.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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