Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Tuesday, 8 March 2011

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The Goddess Venus

Hollywood, CA - The two women living with actor Charlie Sheen actually are the Roman goddesses Venus and Athena. The two divine beings hope to rekindle the ancient faith, and are using Charlie for publicity and fame. Most people assume they are just some drug-fantasy from Charlie's disintegrating brain, but they really do exist.

Charlie first met Venus last year, when he was smoking a reefer and walking along the Malibu shoreline at dawn. He saw Venus surfing towards the shore, while standing on an opened sea-shell. She looked exactly like the famous painting by Botticelli. Charlie wrapped the beautiful, naked woman in a blanket, and took her to his home.

Athena appeared to Charlie just a few days after Venus appeared. Charlie was very stoned, and having an argument with his father. Suddenly, Charlie developed a terrible headache. The goddess Athena then burst out of his forehead, fully clothed. Athena is the goddess of wisdom, and gives Charlie advice on business and financial matters.

Charlie is hoping all the Roman gods and goddesses appear in front of him soon, as he goes into battle with CBS and Warner Brothers. Charlie keeps his television set tuned to the violence in the Middle East, and hope he can make Mars, the god of war, appear before him. Charlie also is looking forward to the next thunderstorm. He hopes that Jupiter can strike down his enemies with thunderbolts of lightening.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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