Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Tuesday, 8 March 2011

image for Kerry Katona Ready To Date - Male Population In Hiding!
A man, today, on hearing that Katy's out there again.

The streets of major population centres were strangely empty of men today following the latest news from the Kerry Katona kamp.

Writing in a her column in national celebrity/gossip magazine, OK!, the perpetual self-publicist announced that she was glad to be at home with the kids after her exertions on Dancing On Ice.

She also advises Katie 'Jordan' Price to get her life into perspective after her drunken behaviour at an Oscars party.

But this week's column bombshell comes in a snip titled My Dating Hell!

She announces: "I'm finally ready to date again and there are people I have chemistry with, but because I'm constantly watched it always ends up being too awkward to date them."

A spokesman for men said: "Bloody hell! Duck and cover, lads, duck and cover!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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