Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 8 March 2011

image for CBS Finally Fires Charlie Sheen - The Star of "Two and A Half Men" Kisses $1.8 Million Per Show Bye-Bye
Two and A Half Men is filmed on Malibu Beach. (Photo courtesy of Joan Rivers).

HOLLYWOOD - Saying that they are finished playing 'Day Care Center' the top brass at the CBS Network have just informed Charlie Sheen, the star of the number one rated sit-com on television Two and A Half Men that his services are no longer needed.

The Tinsel Town Times Tribune reported that Sheen asked if by services they meant that they did not want him to continue being the star of their top rated show.

A spokesperson for CBS reportedly responded by using a Charlie Sheen term "Duh."

Sheen, who has admitted to not exactly being a poster child for the Boys Scouts of America, stated that he can not believe that the network is willing to say good-bye to billions of advertising dollars plus throwing away the rights to the Charlie Harper Action Figure Doll.

Bedroom Pillow Talk is reporting that CBS is planning on replacing Charlie Sheen with Mel Gibson who will portray Silas Harper, an uncle of Charlie and Alan Harper who used to play in the 70s swamp rock band Creedence Clearwater Revival.

Silas will move into Charlie Harper's Malibu Beach house after Charlie takes a trip to visit an old high school friend who lives high in the mountains of Tibet.

After being gone for four weeks Charlie wrote Alan and told him that he had fallen in love with a Tibetan camel herders daughter and he had decided stay and live in Tibet to avoid the incessant hounding by his long time Malibu Beach stalker, Rose.

The shows creator, chief writer, and set designer Chucky Lorre says that with the money they will be saving by not having to pay Sheen $1.8 million per show they will be able to afford such noted guest stars as Angelina Jolie, Zac Efron, Sandra Bullock, Demi Lovato, George Clooney, and Boo Boo Stewart.

Charlie Sheen was asked by BRT's Metzenbaum Kassenbaum what he thought about being fired from the number one comedy show on television.

Sheen, who was having lunch at a local Pompous Pizza Parlor in Avocado Heights with one of his two girlfriends put down his slice of pepperoni pizza and replied that he did not think that the viewers of the show will accept Mel Gibson because he has an extremely pronounced Australian accent, he has a tendency of going ballistic when it comes to girlfriends, and he is allergic to beach sand.

In other news. The Delaware State Senate has banned comedian Ricky Gervais from setting foot in Delaware due to the recent disparaging remarks he made on The Oprah Winfrey Show regarding the city of Dover.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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