Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 7 March 2011

image for Clint Eastwood, Robert Pattinson, and Selena Gomez To Star In The Comedy Western "The Sockaroo Buckaroos"
Chester "Bronco" Buckholtz has been Eastwood's stunt double since his days on "Rawhide" back in 1959.

HOLLYWOOD - Clint Eastwood who first became nationally known starring as Rowdy Yates on the 1950s television western Rawhide has just announced that he will be directing Robert Pattinson and Selena Gomez in the new Old West western from TouchRock Pictures entitled, The Sockaroo Buckaroos.

Eastwood will also star in the film which will take place in the 1888 Wild West town of Dry Gulch, Texas. The comedy is based on the book by Hank "Grits" Bloggowitz Yippie Ki Yay Y'all, which deals with The Infamous Cowboy Boot Shortage of 1888.

Selena Gomez will be starring as Margarita De La Conchita, younger sister of Alfredo Alfresco De La Conchita, played by Robert Pattinson.

Senor De La Conchita owns the biggest jalapeño farm in the entire state of Texas. He soon befriends Sheriff Cody Macaroni portrayed by Clint Eastwood who becomes addicted to jalapeños and before he realizes it he is up to a dozen jalapeño a day habit.

The Infamous Cowboy Boot Shortage of 1888, came about due to the fact that Buffalo Bill "The Pill" Cody after single-handedly shooting over 3 million buffaloes turned his sites to shooting mavericks, or in the parlance of the Old West, stray cattle.

Mavericks were cattle that were unbranded. They derived their name from Texas cattleman Sam Maverick who had so many cattle (numbering in the hundreds of thousands) that there was just no way that his cowhands (cowboys) could possibly brand them all.

So it just became common knowledge that any cattle roaming around that were not branded were cattle that belonged to Sam Maverick.

And since Mr. Maverick had a stable of about a dozen or so professional "Pistoleros" (hired guns) there was certainly no one who was about to argue with the man.

Eastwood said that he had been trying to get the motion picture made back when he first returned from Italy with tons of money after having had tremendous success with what became known as Clint Eastwood's "Spaghetti Westerns."

But he got sidetracked making the Dirty Harry movies and so The Sockaroo Buckaroos got placed on the back burner.

Eastwood spoke to The Tinsel Town Times Tribune and informed them that he is now able to proceed with the film due to the gracious financial backing of The Burlington Sock Company who not only invested $50 million in the film, but who also will be providing every single pair of socks that the actors and crew will be wearing.

The Tinsel Town Times Tribune was informed by Mr. Eastwood that The Sockaroo Buckaroos will have its premier in Woonsocket, Rhode Island.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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