Written by IainB
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Topics: BBC, Time, Universe, Brian Cox

Sunday, 6 March 2011

image for Brian Cox - the rising star of British Astronomy
Space is very large. How large? Very large.

Brian Cox, the rising star of television astronomy, has been asked to explain the entire universe, all that has happened, all that will happen, how it happens and what is going on right now across the entire visible universe. In four hour long episodes.

"It's going to be tough," admitted Cox, who was also the lead singer of D-Reem in the eighties. "There's quite a lot to fit into four hours."

To make it more difficult, the BBC have insisted that Cox, which is also a kind of apple, makes it simple enough for a Big Brother contestant to understand.

"I decided to start with the relatively simple subject of the entire life history and the future of the universe," said Cox, who shares a name with a position in rowing. "This is the smallest part of the whole series. The subsequent episodes have to cover everything in the universe. And there's quite a lot of that. I could probably do a thousand hours, never mind four."

Cox is being groomed by the BBC to take over the Sky At Night from Sir Patrick Moore, when the British Institution pops his clogs. He certainly knows his stuff, and has more degrees than in Kelvin where ice forms in water. Additionally, he has a face for television, and a history in presenting and entertainment.

"He's perfect," said Michelle Grade, sister of Michael Grade and daughter of unimaginative parents. "And I love him, he's dishy."

More importantly, Cox, which is the plural for a male chicken, actually managed to pull off explaining the entire known universe to Reality TV fans. "Dishy and talented," added Ms Grade.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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