Written by Inhopeless
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Topics: Music, Justin Bieber

Sunday, 6 March 2011

LOS ANGELES - Inhopeless Media Group have unearthed the music stored on Bieber's iPod.

The results are shocking.

After stealing it from Bieber's bedroom, posing as highly-acclaimed movie star Todd Toddson, Inhopeless has disemated the contents.

"I was expecting recordings of his new album or something," Inhopeless said, "instead I get a list of rock band." He added, "I share the same tastes as JB."

The list of artists included narcotic pianist Ben Folds, foul-mouthed band Say Anything, techno-punk Hellogoodbye and Welsh metal group Bullet for My Valentine.

Music magazines, including Rolling Stone, KERRANG!, and the AVClub, have reacted to the news with shock, calling it the 'iPod Reveal of the Century'.

Bieber defended his choice of music: "And what?" he said to the press coirps, "Britney Spears listens to Slipknot and Korn. Beyonce listens to Guns and Roses. YOu think we actually like that vomit-inducing trash we churn out. That's our job description."

As of press time, hipsters and emos across the planet were immediately ditching thier headphones. Good riddance.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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