Charlie Sheen, appearing on a special edition of the Shopping Channel, has made an offer to buy CBS, which owns the rights to his cancelled show Two and a Half Men. So far, he's offering $2 billion dollars.
Sheen, appearing on the show dressed like Dr. Evil from the movie series Austin Powers,"put his pinky to his lips and publicly announced that he had so much money just from this past week of what he termed "Charlie Sheen 24/7," that he could not only buy CBS but could also make the network's executives his bitches.
No word yet on whether CBS is going to take him up on his offer, but NBC is reportedly trying to get Sheen to buy them instead. Said one NBC executive, "Ever since we lost Seinfeld, we've been going downhill, and we need Sheen. So, Charlie, if you're listening, call me," he said as he mimed the universal phone-to-ear signal.