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Saturday, 5 March 2011

image for Amy Winehouse: Uncle Garth Died From Being in the Wrong Test Group!

According to Amy Winehouse, her favorite Uncle, Uncle Garth "who drunk like a fish"and "whom I cannot stand to be around", died from being in the wrong test group.

Since she made the statement to several reporters and then promptly passed out, we decided to visit friends of the family.

We found three that were third cousins, after several days.

"At one time we lived right next door to the Winehouses and Amy's Uncle Garth came home near midnight while singing loud and off-key every single Friday and Saturday night", stated cousin Plonky Winehouse.. "Not only that, but when Garth died, all the dog quit barking and not hearing him singing, kept us awake for two weeks."

"I recall my husband Nigel saying that now he could not sleep because he was used to the dog's barking and Garth's singing."

"That's true", stated Nigel. "Even the dogs were disappointed that they had no choirmaster."

"That was when we first discovered that we both had the tonighus..you know, ringing in the ears."

Eventually, a couple heard of their plight and mailed them a CD they had made of their own Friday night, Saturday night drunk and dogs howling and they were able to once again get a good night's sleep.

Before he died, Uncle Garth took part in a test because he needed the cash.

"Part of Uncle Garth's group were given pills for their liver cancer and part of them were given placebos to test their meds.

Unfortunately, Uncle Garth was on the placebos and received the real rat poison in the test for heart attack studies and blood flow. However, almost 100% of the rats were killed from gnawing on his body.

"As next of kin, we got $100,000 and stock in the rat killing product."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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