Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: American Idol

Sunday, 6 March 2011

image for American Idol's Lauren Alaina, 16, Does Not Appreciate The Comment That She's A Cross Between Carrie Underwood and Kelly Clarkson
Lauren Alaina says her favorite food is Southern Style Barbecued Baby Back Ribs. (Photo courtesy of Oprah Winfrey).

HOLLYWOOD - One of the youngest performers to ever appear on American Idol has a fairly good chance of making it into the finals.

Rossville, Georgia native Lauren Alaina, who just recently turned 16, is being touted as one of the ones to beat. She has a powerful voice which she said she got from always having to holler at her little cousins to stop playing with 'da damn skunks!'

Some American Idol aficionados have compared Lauren to the likes of Carrie Underwood and Kelly Clarkson.

Tittle Tattle Tonight's Skippy Viperwater remarked that when Miss Alaina heard that comment she was really not to pleased about it.

She explained that although she was thrilled at being compared to the fabulously beautiful country singer Carrie Underwood she was not too happy about being compared to Kelly Clarkson who she said is prettier than Reba McEntire, but that isn't really saying a whole hell of a lot.

Lauren also pointed out that Clarkson has for the past four years struggled with her weight going up and then going down a little and going up a bunch and then going down a little.

Alaina said that she really does not want to hear anyone ever compare her to the muffin topped Clarkson again.

3T's Viperwater was quick to point out that Lauren's remarks certainly fall under the 'pot calling the kettle black' category. He grinned and said that he wonders when was the last time that Miss Alaina had gotten a good look at her body in the mirror, because if she says that Clarkson has a muffin top then she has whole damn loaf of bread top.

When Lauren was told about Viperwater's comments she reportedly stated that if she is overweight it's due to the fact that it's just baby fat since she is after all only 15.1 years old.

American Idol Judge Randy "The Black Dawg" Jackson was asked if he thought that Lauren Alaina is fat. He raised his eyebrows and replied, "Well let me put it this way, if she was about 6 foot 10 inches tall she would be just right, now how's that?"

Jennifer "La Tush" Lopez said that Lauren reminds her of Kim Kardashian except that she's blonde, she can sing, and she doesn't have 178 ex-boyfriends.

And when Steven "Lips" Tyler was asked if Alaina was fat the big-lipped lead singer of Aerosmith replied, "Why hell yeah she's fat, dat's exactly why I like her. I like gals with meat on their bones and in Lauren's case dude, we're talkin' lots, and lots, and lots of meat."

American Idol Host Ryan Seacrest's girlfriend Julianne Hough of Dancing With The Stars is not the least bit fat - in fact according to a recent survey taken of 18,000 males students at UCLA, Julianne was chosen as having the best looking svelte body on the Left Coast.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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