Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 10 March 2011

image for Sean Penn's Enjoying A "Titillating Romp" With Scarlett Johansson Down In Cabo San Lucas
Scarlett Johansson shown at The Pancho Villa Resort Villa down in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. (Photo by Sean Penn).

CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson checked into The Pancho Villa Resort Villa in Cabo San Lucas recently and showed the members of the entertainment media that an old geezer like Penn who is 50 can still attract a stunningly attractive much younger woman such as ScarJo who is 26.

Penn told one of the employees at the resort villa that he has been with some mighty sexy ladies in his day including Madonna, Jewel, Robin Wright, and Petra Nemcova but that he has never, ever enjoyed a more titillating romp with anyone than he has with Scarlett Johansson.

Johansson is still devastated by having husband Ryan Reynolds file divorce papers on her. When asked why Reynolds was divorcing her Scarlett simply grinned and replied, "Oh, I don't know, maybe because Ryan is a total and complete jerk who has no idea that there are millions and millions of red-blooded American males who would love to go out with me and be thrilled if they even got to 'first base.'

ScarJo then coyly added, "And forget about how they would feel if they hit a stand up 'double' or slid into 'third.'

She continued, "And I'm not even going to mention what they would think and feel if they were lucky enough to hit one over the fence (home run). Are you kidding me?"

When Penn was asked what attributes he likes about Scarlett Johansson the most he grinned like the Cabo cat that swallowed the Chihuahua canary and replied, "Well I like her body first, her knowledge of sports second, and the fact that the sexy bitch knows exactly who the eff she is and how freakin damn good she is in bed."

Well alrighty then. In other news. Montana has just joined Vermont as being the only two states in America to outlaw the practice of do-it-yourself circumcisions.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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