Written by Jaggedone
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Friday, 4 March 2011

image for "The Special One" escapes knife attack in Spain, was it Ronaldo's mother?
Ronnie's mum in high-security rehab, loony Puta!

"The Special One" Jose Mourinho escaped a knife attack in La Coruna today. It seems the attacker was Ronaldo's mother aggrieved at the way Jose treats his son.

Jose is constantly jibing Ronaldo about his sexuality, his diving, antics in front of opposing fans, stamping his feet when a ref's decison goes against him and general lack of "cojones" whilst facing Barcelona's beast defender, Puzol.

Mourinho has even rung up Sir Alex Ferguson for advice about handling his over-sensitive super-star, but Sir Alex just shrugged his shoulders and told Mourinho, "you can have Rooney too if you want him?"

Ronaldo's mother incensed at Mourinho's treatment of his very delicate son did a Norman Bates (Psycho remember?) in reverse, she dressed up as a man and attempted to stab "The Special One" whilst he was giving autographs, luckily he escaped.

Ronaldo's mother is now enjoying rehab in a high-security beauty farm paid for by her very rich son and Ronaldo's surrogate child has been handed back to the surroqate mother (normally his mum changes the baby's nappies) until mum is released.

Ronaldo has no time to look after his baby, he's too busy doing his hair and practicing free-kicks in front of the mirror!

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