An amateur movie that was loaned out to a friend of the family has Robert Pattinson going slightly nuts.
"If you want to see a red-faced Pattinson, you may get to do exactly that unless he can get that old family movie back", stated Lizzy Pattinson, Robert's sister, a singer and songwriter who is visiting the United States for only the second time.
However, someone must have tipped her off because she clammed up just as soon as a friend of Pattinson started running his finger across his throat.
So that was that, but our reporter was not to be deterred and began a search that finally found the story of the missing video.
"I can see why Robert Pattinson is trying to get his hands on the video before it hits YouTube but I'm afraid it's too late. I have a copy here", stated reporter Willy Wanker.
With video in hand he confronted Robert Pattinson with a copy.
"So it's gotten out?", he told Wanker. "Well I'll just have to deal with it whenever it pops up. Thanks for this copy."
Having watched it already, Wanker reported that the video is one made by his creative sister with Pattinson and older sister, Victoria.
"The part that really gets Pattinson is where he is only twelve years old and the older sisters have him dressed up as a girl named "Claudia Louise".
Lizzy finally told me that they used to do that all the time to Rob until he hit 13 and began chasing girls. Then he would never even talk to us and tried to keep this away from his friends."
Why Claudia Louise? Wanker is still working on that one.
"People are often given funny names", stated Wanker.