Written by Bureau
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Topics: charlie sheen, Rehab

Thursday, 3 March 2011

image for Charlie Sheen: I Crapped Under Rehab Instructor's Desk

Undercover reporter Cheyenne Childress got this story for us while using a new listening device that can pick up people at other tables in the restaurant or so we're told.

"Actually, I was at Teddy's Place, the Club, but the device doesn't record anything. It only brings it to the ear of the listener."

Saturday night Childress overheard three men and two ladies at a table including one she says looked and acted like Charlie Sheen.

"The ladies were all giggling so I tried to tune it in. It took awhile to adjust it but finally I recognized what I believe was the voice of Sheen."

Childress stated that one lady that had just finished telling the group something but all she heard was the "That's awful! Then a lot of laughter."

Then the Charlie Sheen-sounding voice told the others that he once shat under the Rehab instructor's desk last year in California.

"This lady was upset and told us no one could leave the room, even for the bathroom until they repeated the three things they would tell themselves when they thought they were going out of control. But I had to crap really bad.

Finally I found that I HAD shit my pants a little bit. So I used a tissue after faking a sneeze. I quickly pitched it under the instructor's desk. Served her right. But then the bell rang for an official break and I had to hurry out to the bathroom...as we heard a crash and saw Ms. Prescott's high heels feet in the air.

She blamed it on Charlie Autry because he farted all the time. He was trying to quit."

"Remember", I said it 'sounded like Charlie Sheen's voice' but I wasn't sure as all five got up and left and there was a taxi waiting outside.

Also there was something brown under the table as I retrieved my listening device.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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