Written by Skoob1999
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Wednesday, 2 March 2011

image for Socks And Gloves And Pork Pie Hats
More Of A Trilby Really - But Almost a Pork Pie Hat

As the world once again finds itself in crisis, with wholesale slaughter going on left, right and centre, there remains a beacon of hope in the stultifying pall of negativity.

Fashion guru, Adolph Galileo appears to think he's got the solution.

"It's all about socks and gloves and pork pie hats," Galileo told a packed house at London's Hackney Hilton ballroom and kebab grill.

Which almost sounded like 'Sex And Drugs And Rock And Roll' as expressed by the late and much lamented rhythm stick hitter, Ian Dury.

Not so, countered Galileo.

"The point is, that if people were a tad more fashion conscious, they wouldn't have to worry about crises. It's all well and good people coming on the telly wearing military uniforms festooned with medals, or garbing up like Bedouin tribesmen, before machine-gunning everything in sight, but a sensible pair of socks, a nice pair of calfskin gloves and a pork pie hat can really make a difference."

Indeed. Prime Minister, David Cameron was among the first to grasp the nettle. He said that he was perfectly clear as regards socks and gloves and pork pie hats - they are quite clearly the epitome of reliability, and highly unlikely to result in the wearer being subjected to unreasonable ridicule.

It seems that wearing a nice pair of understated socks - in black or burgundy 65% polyester, a nice pair of calfskin gloves, and a pork pie hat that fits properly, can enable the wearer to command respect, thus averting potential revolutionary movements and potentially sticky situations.

However, local man, Martin Shuttlecock angrily refuted such suggestions.

"They're all arses!" he explained. "They've no idea what they're talking about. I wear understated socks, and a pork pie hat - so why does everybody take the piss out of me whenever I go out? Answer me that then!"

Jesus Budda later said that he found the contrasting views 'fascinating'

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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