Written by Bureau
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Wednesday, 2 March 2011

image for Kristen Stewart Blow-Up Doll Turns on Owner
One of hundreds of nude dolls, only thing left intact in Old Guy's Apartment

Shades of the Ventriloquist dummy turning against it's owner.

There is a report out this morning that a Kristen Stewart look-alike blow-up doll has turned on it's owner and blew them both to bits.

"I thought the whole apartment complex was going, it was so loud. Must have been a lot of hot air in there", stated a neighbor.

"This old fart had been humping this doll, apparently. We have his notes. And it blew up in his face..well, actually all over the man", stated a copper on the case. "Must have been a lonely old fellow."

So far the investigation has shown that the doll had explosive gases inside and when the owner tried it in the kitchen, her toe touched an old hotplate and it exploded. Or it could have been the Old Fart that had all that explosive gas in his colon.

"Hard now to tell parts of the doll from the owner", stated an investigator. "Of course, it may have been that way somewhat BEFORE the big blast."

Meanwhile a recall has been announced.

"We can recall blow-up dolls", stated one safety official. "But we cannot recall the old farts that purchase them in the first place."

As a safety measure, purchasers may have to agree to a brain scan in the future.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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