SANTA MONICA - Billy Ray Cyrus, 49, and his daughter Miley Cyrus, 18, have both denied any involvement, participation, or knowledge in what Southern California law enforcement agencies are calling The Infamous Santa Monica Hannah Montana Counterfeit Sock Scandal of 2011.
Captain Bonifacio Ortega-Snickerwood of the Santa Monica Sheriff's Department stated that he personally received a call from his PI or personal informant, informing him of a counterfeit sock shipment numbering somewhere around 62,000 pairs that was coming up from Baja California and that was bound for Santa Monica, California.
Ortega-Snickerwood revealed that his department had been tipped off that the ring leader was a man who calls himself Senor John "El Crybaby" Boehner, whom they said looks nothing at all like the new U.S. Speaker of the House John Boehner.
Captain Ortega-Snickerwood disclosed that "El Crybaby" Boehner is only 5 foot 2 inches tall, weighs 220 pounds and has repeatedly been seen wearing a black, white, and blue Carolina Panthers football helmet.
The Captain was asked if an adult male wearing a football helmet out in public wasn't kind of strange.
He laughed as he shook his head and replied, "Effen A it's strange. Hell it's strange as hell. I mean I've been in the law enforcement business for 31 years and I have seen thousands of guys wearing gimme caps, do rags, and head bands, but I ain't never seen a fella wearing a football helmet, and especially a Carolina Panthers football helmet, hell the team went 2 and 14 this past year.
More Infamous Santa Monica Hannah Montana Counterfeit Sock Scandal developments as they develop.