Written by Marcus Laputa
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Topics: clothing, pants

Sunday, 11 September 2005

image for Original M.C. Hammer pants fetches $2 at Goodwill Store
'It'd be funny to wear those on Halloween' said Mrs. Brooks

Oakland CA -- A pair of extremely baggy pants that were worn by the rapper M.C. Hammer during the early 90's were bought by a Mrs. Julie Brooks at a Goodwill Store yesterday. The pants are part of a large collection of clothing that was donated by M.C. Hammer (real name Stanley Kirk Burrell)
several years ago.

When asked if she was a M.C. Hammer fan, Mrs. Brooks responded, "Actually I've never heard of Ency Hammer. Was he famous? I don't really listen to pop music. Mostly I just listen to Country music."

Mrs. Brooks then revealed that she bought the pants so that might be part of a Halloween costume and she seemed quite amused that M.C. Hammer used to dance in them. "Well, when I saw them I thought to myself, ‘It'd be funny to wear those on Halloween'. I can't believe that somebody actually managed to dance in these. Did he fall over a lot?"

Speaking from L.A., Mr. Hammer said he was delighted that the pants had raised money for a good cause and revealed his motivation for donating the clothing. "After I went bankrupt I had to sell everything I owned. My house, my cars, my T.V.'s. Everything. The one thing nobody would buy was my clothes. In the end the only way I could get rid of them was by giving them to a Goodwill store, and I don't think they even wanted them. It's good to hear that somebody somewhere benefitted from those pants because I know I didn't."

The manager at the Goodwill Store, Mrs. Jenny Stevens, revealed that she was also delighted that the pants had been sold, "Those pants have been hanging on those racks for I don't know how long. I really thought we just going to have to throw them out. But those pants are just the tip of the iceberg. We have boxes full of baggy pants and other garments worn by Mr. Hammer in the storeroom at the back of the shop. I still think we may have to throw most of those out. They're taking up too much space."

She went on to say that the store had many relics of past pop stars. "We've all sorts of clothes donated by former pop stars. Multicolored hats, oversized t-shirts. Everything really. I wish somebody would come in and buy them. They really are taking up a lot of space."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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