Written by Skoob1999
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Tuesday, 1 March 2011

image for Never Mind Another Potential War - Demi Lovato Buys A Pork Pie Hat
You Want Hat? I Haff Many Hats! I Do You Good Deal.

As Great Britain prepares for military intervention in the Libya crisis, apparently about to send troops and ordnance into the North African state in order to reestablish harmony and stability - PM David "Do Nothing Dave" Cameron has attempted to allay fears of yet another costly overseas military incursion by saying in the House Of Commons:

"Let me be perfectly clear about this...transparency is of the essence in what I am clearly and transparently saying - what happens in Libya, and our involvement, utilising the latest Airfix military model technology at enormous cost to the taxpayer - it's of no real consequence!

"The point is, the crucial, clear, transparent point - is that Demi Lovato went shopping today on Rodeo Drive, and bought a pork pie hat for $2,000 She didn't buy a bowler, or a homburg, or a fedora - she bought a pork pie hat! How amazing is that!!!"

Critics of Mister Cameron - most of whom are so out of touch with reality that they don't even know who Demi Lovato is - insisted that the PM has finally lost whatever tenuous grip on reality he may have once possessed.

Deputy PM Nick Clegg responded angrily, saying:

"You people have no idea. You really don't. Demi Lovato could have bought a clown's hat, or a bobby's helmet - but she didn't! She bought...a pork pie hat! For God's sake, if that isn't relevant in the field of international politics, I'll be buggered if I know what is!"

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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