As Great Britain prepares for military intervention in the Libya crisis, apparently about to send troops and ordnance into the North African state in order to reestablish harmony and stability - PM David "Do Nothing Dave" Cameron has attempted to allay fears of yet another costly overseas military incursion by saying in the House Of Commons:
"Let me be perfectly clear about this...transparency is of the essence in what I am clearly and transparently saying - what happens in Libya, and our involvement, utilising the latest Airfix military model technology at enormous cost to the taxpayer - it's of no real consequence!
"The point is, the crucial, clear, transparent point - is that Demi Lovato went shopping today on Rodeo Drive, and bought a pork pie hat for $2,000 She didn't buy a bowler, or a homburg, or a fedora - she bought a pork pie hat! How amazing is that!!!"
Critics of Mister Cameron - most of whom are so out of touch with reality that they don't even know who Demi Lovato is - insisted that the PM has finally lost whatever tenuous grip on reality he may have once possessed.
Deputy PM Nick Clegg responded angrily, saying:
"You people have no idea. You really don't. Demi Lovato could have bought a clown's hat, or a bobby's helmet - but she didn't! She bought...a pork pie hat! For God's sake, if that isn't relevant in the field of international politics, I'll be buggered if I know what is!"
More as we get it.