Written by Sexpanther
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Tuesday, 1 March 2011

image for Charlie Sheen Hits Rock Bottom Allegedly Bites British Boy
An image of little Harry after allegedly being bitten by Charlie Sheen over the weekend

It appears the downward spiral that is Charlie Sheen's life may have finally hit rock bottom.

I have been notified by Scotland Yard sources that Charlie Sheen has been indicted on assault charges after the 2 and a Half Men and Major League star apparently bit a 3-year-old boy. The tragic event allegedly occurred during a trip this passed weekend to the UK for what was supposed to be some much needed R&R.

Initial reports indicate that Sheen bit 3-year-old Harry Davies-Carr's finger not once, but twice in a cocaine induced rage! The incident is still under investigation, but the large amount of evidence collected, thus far, does not seem to bode well for Mr. Sheen's chances to evade conviction in what is only the latest in a string of recent run-ins with the law.

Accordingly to insiders, Little Harry's finger is severely wounded and investigators have hinted that the bite marks seem to match Mr. Sheen's gold-plated chompers.

I have obtained a copy of a key piece of evidence, from someone deeply involved with the investigation, that could turn out to be the smoking gun that finally brings Sheen to justice: a video of the alleged incident.

The video, which has since gone viral on youtube, allegedly shows Sheen sucking a cigar next to a smiling baby boy. The two seem to be enjoying each others company and then out of nowhere Sheen bites the boy's thumb, and the boy subsequently screams in pain "Charlie bit me!"

When reached for comment, Sheen's new publicist reality star Spencer Pratt quipped "this whole situation has been blown completely out of proportion. Charlie mistaken thought the boy's thumb was a cigar and accidentally bit the tip. Our condolences go out to the Davies-Carr family, and we hope little Harry a speedy recovery."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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