A media frenzy erupted over the announcement that there will be Hash at the Royal Wedding in April.
"Hash will be right there on view for the entire world to see at the most prestigious wedding of the century," said Palace Insider, Ian Cider.
Kate Middleton is behind getting Hash at the Wedding, having invited her, along with her husband Chan Shingadia. The pair are the local shopkeepers in Bucklebury the village where Kate grew up. Also invited is the pub landlord, John Haley, who used to sneak her cider when her parents weren't looking, the postman, Ryan Naylor, who brought her birthday cards and watched her turn from sweet child to future princess. Finally, Martin Fidler, the butcher who saved his best sausage for her every Friday.
"We're over the moon," said Hash Shingadia. "We never thought that the little girl we dropped an extra pick and mix into a bag for would one day be inviting us to a royal wedding."
Following in his mother's footsteps, William Windsor has said that the Royal Wedding will be a People's Wedding, and it was his encouragement that saw Kate invite some random people from her village. Juanita Fernando who was the Middleton's au pair for twenty years is a little miffed that she didn't get an invite though.
"I'm a little miffed," she said. "I wiped that girls very naughty bottom."
The police have now assigned round the clock surveillance on all the ordinary people invited to the wedding. "We can't take any chances," said police inspector Phil Inns. "They could be kidnapped, switched for terrorists or fall a bit poorly. We wouldn't want to see the big day ruined."
Pub Landlord, John Haley, denies serving alcohol to underage girls.