Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 28 February 2011

image for Oscar Winner Colin Firth's Hotel Room Tagged By Banksy
Nah - Banksy Wouldn't Have Done That...FFS

It was all good a couple of hours ago for Brit actor Colin Firth, as he collected the Oscar for Best Actor in The King's Speech and went on to a proper Hollywood knees up with Billy Crystal and a holographic projection of the late and greatly lamented Hollywood icon, Bob Hope.

Drooling a bit (allegedly) over Helena Bonham-Carter in a frilly little black number, although he laughed off such suggestive suggestiveness.

But it all turned a bit sour for our Colin when he returned to his Hollywood hotel room.

Because the walls therein had been tagged by reclusive street artist, Banksy - Himself nominated for an Oscar for 'Best Documentary Feature' for his film 'Exit Through The Gift Shop.' Although he didn't win. And according to reports, wore a burkha, in order to protect his anonymity.

Hollywood insiders said that Firth was devastated when he entered his hotel room, to find the place stinking of aerosol spray paint, and a giant mural of a rat shagging a policeman up the bum above his bed head, bearing the legend: YOU COP OUT!

The incident was reported to the LAPD, but apparently they were too busy pulling over motorists and hitting them repeatedly with batons to be arsed with Colin Firth.

Hotel management moved Colin to another room - but not before the entrepreneurial Brit Oscar winner had arranged to have the Banksy mural removed and signed over to him as his own personal property. A good move, considering that the Banksy mural will probably prove to be quite valuable.

More valuable in cash terms than the Oscar itself.

We tried to contact Banksy for a comment, but apparently he's signed an exclusive deal with former Skoob Entertainment News supremo, Buffty Ginslinger, who sensationally quit SEN after covering the Oscars.

And won't let us have access. Even if Banksy is wearing a burkha.

SEN has news for Buffty - YOU'RE FIRED! YOU WERE CRAP ANYWAY! WITH YOUR BLOODY SILLY MICK McMANUS WRESTLING BIOPIC! WITH JORDAN! AND PETER ANDRE, AND ALEX REID! YOU'RE AN IDIOT MAN!

More as we get it. Or calm down. Fucking JUDAS!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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