Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 28 February 2011

image for Sarah Palin Hints That She May Be Heading For Arizona and Moving In With Daughter Bristol
Todd Palin on his way to the grocery store to buy eggs, milk, and bread. (Photo by Piper Palin).

WASILLA, Alaska - The word on the frozen streets of Wasilla is not good in regards to the Palin Family. It appears that there may be trouble over in Casa Moscow, the Todd and Sarah Palin home.

For the past few weeks the rumor mills of this tiny Alaskan community have been working overtime.

It appears that supposedly reliable, unnamed, sources have reportedly talked to an unnamed source who wishes to remain anonymous and who has stated that he or she recently saw Todd Palin on his dog sled racing down a snow hill in the nearby village of Eskimo Snowman.

The anonymous person said that she or he saw Todd's salmon fishing guide Nanicka Zapalicka standing in front of Todd as he mushed the team of Alaskan huskies along in the pouring snow.

National supermarket tabloids including Say What? Just Saying, and The Rumor Monger Revue have all had stories and photos of the the fishing guide and her 'prized' student.

Just Saying included dozens of photos of the 28-year-old good looking Miss Zapalicka who was the head cheerleader at Wasilla's Nanook of The Frozen North High School back in 2001.

Zapalicka is the owner of The Lower Alaska Salmon Fishing Guide Agency and she has stated repeatedly that her relationship with Todd Palin is strictly on a teacher-student level.

The stunningly beautiful Eskimo-American who has a Master's Degree in Salmonology from Iceberg State University in Juneau and a Master's Degree in Reindeer Neutering from Our Lady of The Dog Mushing College in Anchorage has repeatedly told the media that although it is true that at times her and Mr. Palin go out on three day fishing trips their relationship is 100 percent platonic.

Todd recently told a reporter for The Wasilla Frozen Icicle newspaper that he cannot deny the fact that sure he finds Miss Zapalicka to be extremely attractive.

He added that he also finds her to be physically appealing and sexually desirable as well, but he is quick to point out that there probably isn't a man in the whole entire frozen state of Alaska who would not think the same thing about the woman who possesses vital statistic measurements of 38-24-36.

When Todd was asked about the rumor that his wife Sarah may be moving down to the Lower 48 with daughter Bristol "The Pistol" he instantly got a tremendous look of joy on his face.

He composed himself and replied that Sarah has dropped some hints that she is considering doing that, but that is only because that way she will not have to commute back and forth the thousands of miles to Wasilla when she runs for president in 2012.

The Wasilla Frozen Icicle asked Mrs. Palin if she is in fact planning on moving in with Bristol, who a few months ago appeared as a contestant on Dancing With The Stars and was named as the third best dancer in the entire United States.

"Snowflake" replied, "Well ya know, I kinda think that it might not be a bad idea seeing as how, gosh darnit, ya know it is a long way to have to travel back and forth from the Lower 48 to my Casa Moscow home ya know."

Mrs. Palin shook her head and added that she is trying to convince daughters Willow and Piper to move to Arizona with her but 16-year-old Willow has said that she will not leave her boyfriend and 9-year-old Piper says that she heard that Arizona is full of rattlesnakes, spiders, lizards, wild woodpeckers, and people that walk around in Halloween outfits year round.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Little Piper was of course referring to the members of The Grand Imperial Order of The Knights of The Off-White Bougainvillea Ku Klux Klan who in June of 2010 moved their KKK headquarters from Tuscaloosa, Alabama to Tucson, Arizona.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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