Written by Andrew Hall
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Sunday, 27 February 2011

image for Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan Get Busy!
OMG! Help me!

A lucrative new deal between two of Hollywood's most controversial stars has been announced today. Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan have signed a multimillion dollar deal with Laughing in Purgatory Entertainment Inc (LiP Inc) to create the next generation of dysfunctional Hollywood royalty. That's right, Charlie and Lindsay are being paid to team up and make some babies!

Andrew Hall, President of LiP Inc, had this to say about the groundbreaking deal. "Sure, we have all sorts of addicted, deranged, and self destructive, mega-stars right now. What about 15 years from now? After all, social services have gotten a lot better over the years, and we in the entertainment industry can't allow those pesky protectors of children interfere with the next crop of applicants for Celebrity Rehab."

All of the details of the deal are not known, but undisclosed sources state:

1. Sheen/Lohan must have a minimum of three children. These children may be either male or female, though hermaphrodites are desired.

2. Massive cash incentives are in place for having more than three kids.

3. There is no cheating! Charlie and Lindsay must create the children the old fashioned way. The emotional torment that the parents will inflict on their future children will be heightened due to this.

4. Mom and Dad will have joint custody and the children will be brought up in both households. Though nannies are expected, Charlie and Lindsay need to actively parent to the best of their ability.

5. Any and all conflicts between the parents must be recorded.

Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan have both declined any comment on this matter. They prefer to let their work speak for itself.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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