Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 26 February 2011

image for Ringo Starr of The Beatles Finally Wins His Supreme Court Case After 45 Years In Litigation
The United States Supreme Court building where the judges ruled 5 to 4 in favor of Ringo Starr.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Richard Starkey, aka Ringo Starr, 70, sat in his mansion Yellow Submarine Estates, nestled in the Hollywood Hills with a look of sheer satisfaction showing on his face.

The man who had been the drummer for the greatest band in history, The Beatles was thrilled that after four and a half decades his litigation issue had finally been resolved in his favor.

Ever since the Beatles first came to America back on February 4, 1964, anytime that their first names appeared in print it was always, John, Paul, George, and Ringo.

Every newspaper in America, England, and every other country in the world always named the "Fab Four" in that order.

And for the first two years since they first performed in America Ringo Starr keep quiet about it; he never uttered a single word about the fact that his name was always mentioned last.

In fact, Dick Clark, who probably knew every single recording artist in the civilized word wrote in his book about the Beatles Just Four Young Scousers From The English Seaport of Liverpool back in 1964, that he had spoken to Ringo about the order of the name listing.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: For those American readers who may not know the term, Scouser refers to anyone who is a native of Liverpool, much in the same way that the word Manc refers to anyone who is a native of Manchester.]

Clark revealed that Starr was really upset about the order of the name listing but did not want to make waves for fear that John, Paul, and George would become angry and upset with him and possibly replace him with either Charlie Watts of the Rolling Stones or Keith Moon of the Who, which they had on two occasions threatened to do.

Ringo admitted to Clark that if John had said that the reason he insisted to the media that the names be stated (and written) in that order was because it was in alphabetical order he would have been perfectly fine with that.

But that was not the case since the name George which starts with a "G" comes before the name Paul which starts with a "P" so that reasoning would have not even flown, or at least not very far.

Ringo also did not like the fact that Paul had once told him upon finding out that Ringo was unhappy with the name billing that he and John had decided that the names would be listed in order of the band members height and since Ringo stood 5 foot 5 inches tall he was by far the shortest Beatle.

George once kiddingly said that the order was based on the number of girls that each member had boinked (bonked). Ringo did not believe that for a moment because he knew that Paul had boinked more girls than John and that he (Ringo) had boinked more girls than the very shy and reserved George.

So finally in desperation and at the urging of his girlfriend Ringo decided to hire the New York City law firm of Goldschwartz, Heisenberger, Rembranowitz, and Bowlinghaus who were the best lawyers in the field of name litigation.

And so after four and a half decades of back and fourth addressed appeals, advanced accusations, perpetual proceedings, consorted charges, and counter charge claims the United States Supreme Court finally ruled 5 to 4 in favor of Mr. Richard Starkey, aka Ringo Starr.

So now, anytime that the names of the Beatles appears in a book, magazine, or newspaper, they must appear as Ringo, John, Paul, and George.

Or actually as Supreme Court Justice Abigail "The Gray Gavel" Magnavecki stated, "The written order of the four first names of the Beatles, when appearing in a book, magazine, or newspaper shall be listed with the name Ringo first. The subsequent order in regards to the other three Beatles does not matter one bit."

'Bedroom Pillow Talk' who initially broke the story reported that Ringo Starr and his wife actress Barbara Bach celebrated the court ruling by driving out to Ringo's favorite restaurant The Cafe La French Fry in West Hollywood and having their favorite dish Chicken Fried Mutton Croissants.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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