Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 25 February 2011

image for Adam Lambert's Hit Single, "Kristen Stewart's Left Nipple" Busts Into The #1 Spot On The Top 40 Music Chart
Lambert's hit song "Kristen Stewart's Left Nipple" has already sold 2.7 million copies.

HOLLYWOOD - The runner up on the eighth season of American Idol Adam Lambert has had a fairly successful singing career.

The singer known as Glambert has had big selling hits with his songs "For Your Undivided Entertainment," "Whataya Effen Want From Me Anyway?" and a cover version of Charlene's 1982 hit "I've Never Been To Me."

But the flamboyant native of San Diego has never achieved the musical success that he has with his latest hit single "Kristen Stewart's Left Nipple."

The song was co-written by the May-December Southern California songwriting team of Kara DioGuardi and Neil Sedaka.

The two songwriters have corroborated on several hit tunes including Shakira's hit "Waka Waka" which was the official song of The 2010 FIFA World Cup Soccer Games and a duet by Rihanna and Nicki Minaj titled, "Hey Y'all, We Ain't Being Skank Ho's, We Just Kinda Be Lookin Like Dat."

Lambert recently performed his latest number one single before a standing room only crowd of 21,101 fans at The Sooner or Later Arena in Tulsa, Oklahoma where T-shirts with the song's title and an appropriate photograph completely sold out in the first fifteen minutes.

And the ironic thing about the song is that Lambert almost did not get to record it. According to Chipper Caruso, a reporter with Cowbell Notes Music Magazine, DioGuardi and Sedaka first offered the song to Kid Rock who turned it down because he said the lyrics were too tame.

DioGuardi and Sedaka then offered the song to The Kings of Leon who passed on recording the song since they were on a 29-city concert tour in Scandinavia.

Snoop Dog was offered the song but he did not like the beat and said that it was too much of a Taylor Swift type song.

Rascal Flatts said that they liked the song and would record it if they could add a steel guitar, a harmonica, a banjo, a cowbell, and an accordion. Kara and Neil said "No way cowboys."

And Ke$ha said the song had a great melody but said that because of the song's theme it would probably be more suited to be recorded by Melissa Etheridge or Chely Wright.

Finally Kara remembered that she still had Lambert's cell phone number and she called him up and sang the song for him over the phone. She said that right away Adam told her that he liked the song and would record it.

Cowbell Notes Music Magazine reported that as of February 25, 2011, "Kristen Stewart's Left Nipple" had sold over 2.7 million copies. Lambert's business manager has stated that Adam also is planning to record the song in Spanish, French, German, Japanese, and Yiddish.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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