Written by Jenny Grene
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Topics: keira knightley

Thursday, 24 February 2011

Rumours about Keira Knightley's new project have been flying ever since Monday, when an insider leaked details of the feature film to the British press. Talking about the film, the insider mentioned that is had "a happy ending" and was "not a period drama".

This was confirmed earlier today by a representative of the production company, who stated that: "Filming has currently begun for a new project starring Keira Knightley. This film is set in modern-day London, and features no tragically early deaths, separation of loved ones, or general poignancy. The film will have a happy ending."

Fans of Keira Knightley and tragedy are said to be stunned at the conformation of this rumour. Simon Talker, creator of the leading Keira Knightley fansite, stated that: "we are shocked and disappointed in Keira's behaviour. For the last seven years we have been taught the lesson that people can only be beautiful and happy if they were from the past, and even that is quite unlikely. The message that a woman can be beautiful and happy in the modern day is not a good lesson for any aspiring English roses out there."

In a statement about the project, Knightley herself was said to be "looking forward to the challenge of acting happy instead of haunted".

The last film to feature a happy, modern-day Keira Knightley was Love Actually in 2003.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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