Written by Charpa93
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Thursday, 24 February 2011

image for ADA Warns Diabetics to Steer Clear of Watching American Idol

While watching a television show has never been linked to a risk of diabetes, the American Diabetes Association, after screening Wednesday's eliminations on American Idol, says that they did receive many calls from people with high blood sugar problems asking for guidance.

"The entire show was so sickening sweet" said one caller to the ADA hotline, "that I had to continually check my blood sugar levels, which actually reached 155 at one point."

Another caller said that he usually ate a jelly donut while watching his 8:00 shows on television on any given night, but didn't need it while watching American Idol. "I actually tried to go into the bathroom and throw up at one point as I felt my blood sugar levels rising every time Jennifer Lopez said something. It is then that I realized that I hadn't even bit into my jelly donut yet."

Those in the know on American Idol claim that it's not going to get any better either. "If you think Wednesday was bad, just wait until Thursday." He was, of course, referring to Jennifer Lopez threatening to quit because she just doesn't have it in her heart to tell someone no, and that "sugary-sweet moment" may just put many of diabetics over the top.

The ADA is planning on having a double shift of volunteers manning the phones on Thursday to handle what they anticipate to be a record number of calls asking for advice on how to handle their blood sugar levels as the show progresses. "At this rate," said the ADA head volunteer coordinator, "we are telling all our callers to check with their health care professionals before tuning into American Idol on Thursday."

Meanwhile, repeated calls to get Simon Cowell to come back to the show to get back the edge it has lost since his departure have fallen on deaf ears. Cowell, has, however, continued to be consistent in his grading of the three judges, i.e. "Fail, fail, and fail dawg."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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