Hordes of screaming teenage fans and the odd parish priest were disappointed today as they flocked to teenage heartthrob Justin Bieber's website following his announcement of the acquisition of a new penis tone.
While many of the girls were hoping that the rather obvious was being announced, they were greeted by the news that he had in fact twinned himself with a town in West Yorkshire.
Beiber has been offered the opportunity, which he accepted, of becoming the official town mascot for Penistone, a small town outside Wakefield in West Yorkshire.
Wanting to become more 'at one' with his British fans, the young star accepted, not realising that the majority of his British female fans, being as they are totally preoccupied with texting and BBM'ing, assumed the word "tone" would be associated with their most vital of fashion accessories, their phones.
Unfortunately for the teenage texting numpties, the penis tone they were seeking was simply no more than Yorkshire stone, 'e by gum, flat caps and mushy peas.