Written by Abel Rodriguez
Print this

Monday, 21 February 2011

image for The "Sexually Provocative" Singer Rihanna Performs At The NBA All-Star Half Time Show And Breaks Michael Jackson's "Crotch Grabbing" Record
Rihanna relaxing at the Marina Del Rey home of her friend TNT color analyst Charles Barkley.

LOS ANGELES - Rihanna who performed at the 60th Annual NBA Basketball All-Star Game half time extravaganza came pretty close to turning her performance into a nationally televised erotic sexploitation.

The singer came out wearing a black suit coat over a very tiny pair of skintight shorts. About eight measures into her first song she removed her coat and was left wearing a very small white blouse.

And as the stunningly sexy red haired beauty danced and pranced on the stage every males eyes between the ages of nine and ninety-nine were glued on the bombshell beauty from Barbados.

Watching her amazing body it was hard to figure out how in the world her ex-boyfriend Chris Brown could have even remotely thought about beating that deliciously beautiful female specimen.

The word on the street is that Chris is now dating a woman who looks like Rosie O'Donnell except that she's black, much much fatter, and with a lot more body hair than "Jack-O-Lantern" O'Donnell.

During her song set Rihanna performed her hit songs "Disturbia From Suburbia," "What's My Name You Friggin Bling Bling Wearing Bro?" "S&M, M&M's," and "Hey Yo, Put Da Damn Umbrella Down, Shut Da Eff Up, And Drive Sumwhere And Buy Me Sumtin Pretty."

The 23-year-old Rihanna must have forgotten that she was performing in front of a live audience and home viewers made up of families with young children and elderly grandparents because all throughout her performance she kept grabbing at her crotch like a lot of male hip hop rappers do.

In fact, after the performance Charles Barkley of the TNT Network, who televised the game remarked that Miss Rihanna had most probably broken Michael Jackson's 'crotch grabbing' record.

The network as well as the FCC have stated that they will both be looking into the matter. An unnamed inside source stated that Rihanna could be fined as much as $2,000 per each crotch grabbing incident, which could end up going as high as $26,000.

Rihanna remarked that the reason she was grabbing her groin so much was because she'd had a Brazilian Bikini Wax job done about two weeks ago and the little pubic hairs were starting to itch something awful.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 2?

4 5 9 6
71 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more