Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 20 February 2011

image for Reese Witherspoon Explains The Photo of Her Wearing A String Bikini While Sitting On Robert Pattinson's Lap
The bedroom of Reese Witherspoon's movie soundstage trailer. (Photo courtesy of Robert Pattinson).

LOS ANGELES - Reese Witherspoon who single-handedly made the tern "Legally Blonde" infamous has recently completed filming on her latest movie Bottled Water For Elephants.

Witherspoon co-stars with Robert Pattinson, who she found to be a sheer joy and a pleasure to work with even if he does have a devilish habit of pinching his leading ladies on their butts when no one is looking.

Reese, who was named after the candy Reese's Pieces, stated that she has never know an actor who could memorize his lines faster than RPattz.

She said that he is such a talented individual who can juggle six bananas at the same time.

Witherspoon revealed that during the filming of Bottled Water For Elephants Pattinson would join her in her trailer on the movie lot and they would sit and watch reruns of Gilligan's Island.

She said that the two became so comfortable with each other that it got to where they would just sit around in their underwear.

Reese said that somehow a photo of her sitting on Robby's lap while she was clad in a string bikini appeared in the supermarket tabloid Just Saying.

She said that she later told a reporter for Tittle Tattle Tonight that the reason she was sitting on Pattinson's lap was because he was clipping her fingernails at the time.

Witherspoon stated that her and Robby loved sitting in her trailer and one time got into an argument because she commented that there was one episode of Gilligan's Island where Ginger and Mary Ann walked off into the jungle alone and had a lesbian fling.

Pattinson said that there was no way that ever happened because the show was filmed back in the 60s and there were no lesbians in America back then.

Reese told Rob that she just happened to have the same hair stylist as Dawn Wells who played the part of Mary Ann. She asked Robby if he wanted to make a bet that she was correct about the lesbian episode.

She said that she called up her hair stylist and asked him to please have Mary Ann call her. About 25 minutes later Ms. Wells called. Witherspoon explained the bet that she and Pattinson had made and asked her to verify or deny the lesbian episode.

After about a ten minute conversation Reese thanked Ms. Wells and hung up.

She told Robby that Ms. Wells had told her that the production crew did in fact film a 30 minute lesbian themed episode that took place in the jungle but that after it was finished, the producer decided not to air it.

Wells remarked that he producer was afraid that most people would not understand exactly what a lesbian was and ask themselves why would two very attractive females want to engage in an act of 'biscuit bumping' when a young, good looking, eligible male such as Gilligan was available.

Last year the entire male student body at The University of Texas was asked if they had their choice of going to bed with either Ginger or Mary Ann which one would they pick. Out of 25,117 males, 13,898 picked Mary Ann and 11,219 picked Ginger.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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