Written by Lady Godiva
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Saturday, 19 February 2011

image for Members of The Really Free School Collective are suing Guy Ritchie
Guy Ritchie's new home in London - under major renovation

Squatters belonging to The Really Free School Collective have been evicted from the $12 million home owned by Guy Ritchie in London, England.

Apparently, they took the house over as it had been empty for quite a while and, in their eyes, is a waste of space and time. They decided to put the building to good use in the name of The Arts.

Unfortunately, for them, the house is undergoing major renovations and one of the major renos. involves removing copious amounts of Asbestos. They had not done their research and are now suing Guy Ritchie for 'knowingly exposing them to asbestos'.

When asked why they were blaming Guy Ritche when they were the ones, seemingly, breaking the law, their spokesman, Billy Murray, a young man born in Newby, a small village on The Isle of Wight, and now studying LAW, commented,

"Well, it's bloody obvious. Mr. Ritchie SHOULD have put warning and/or danger signs up...alerting would be squatters to the presence of asbestos in the building. If he HAD then WE would never have entered the building.

Now we have to worry about being affected by exposure to asbestos and that is why we are suing his arse off."

Billy Murray has resided on The Isle of Wight since his birth and has, in the past, been involved with the police on the Isle of Wight, during minor incidents there in the past which include:

Hiding Paul the Psychic Octopus...when Paul was seeking refuge from the press during last years World Cup (football/soccer)

Welcoming Susan Boyle when she was trying to escape the Red Scarf Brigade who are a bunch of crazy, wealthy Americans who continue to stalk Susan. Billy helped the villagers give Subo a safe haven within which to take some well earned R & R last year.

Billy took an interest in THE LAW after watching re-runs of the American t.v. series "Law & Order" and enrolled in Law School on the mainland. He is one of the youngest students there, being only 14.

When asked to comment on this recent squatter's incident, Guy Ritchie said to our reporter,

"Well, I do wish little Billy Murray all the luck in the world with his career in LAW, but it is very naughty of him to be sticking up for ne'er-do-wells who broke into my house. They left poo and pee all over the place because the plumbing is not yet hooked up."

We will follow this story and bring you more as it unfolds.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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