Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 18 February 2011

image for Taylor Swift Angrily Denies That Her and Boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal Were Out Shopping For A Baby Stroller
A photo of the baby reindeer toy that Taylor Swift did not buy at the mall in Nashville.

NASHVILLE - The roller coaster romance between the "Sweetheart of Country Music" Taylor Swift and the man who starred in Brokeback Mountain Jake Gyllenhaal seems to be rolling right along.

The two have certainly had their ups and downs but nothing like Charlie Sheen's "Ups" or Lindsay Lohan's "Downs."

Taylor has repeatedly stated that when she is with Jakey she feels like she is a fairy princess who is in charge of the biggest Scottish castle in the history of Scottish castles.

Jake has commented that when he is with Tay-Tay it is as if he never even kissed Kirsten Dunst or Reese Witherspoon much less had relationships full of chills, thrills, and countless vavavoom moments.

Taylor whose songs are always about relationships that she is in or has been in said that she has written four songs about her relationship with Jake The Snake as Barbara Walters and Levi Johnston's ex-future mother-in-law "Shotgun" Sarah Palin call him.

A few days ago Taylor and Jake were out shopping at The Civil War Cannon Ball Mall in Nashville.

A reporter for the supermarket tabloid Grapevine Yakking noticed that the couple was walking hand-in-hand in the baby department of a leading department store.

As Taylor was looking at one of the baby strollers she was approached by the GY reporter and asked if her and Gyllenhaal were looking at baby strollers because that great big old bird, the stork was going to be paying them a visit.

Taylor, who is the epitome of a sweet Southern girl angrily replied, "Look here dude, you can criticize my singing, my guitar playing, or even write that you think I may be anorexic but doncha even for one second be thinking that I have done the 'sparky sparky' with anyone just because you think that my boyfriend and I are looking at baby strollers."

The reporter looked at her shopping cart and replied that he guessed that the box of Newborn Huggies, the baby pacifier, and the baby reindeer toy were all for her 9-year-old first cousin Stonewall Jackson Swift.

Taylor infuriatingly put everything down on the floor and her and Jake did an Elvis Presley imitation and left the building.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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