Written by Phantom Guitarist

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Topics: singer, Friends

Thursday, 25 September 2003

image for Stipe Believes He's Jackson
Stipe: Seen better days

It emerged yesterday that singer with band REM, Michael Stipe, has been admitted to a mental institution. Friends and family refused to comment on the matter, but a band spokesperson confirmed that Michael's mental capabilities had been deteriorating over the past few months.

Rumours abound that the singer began believing he was the Prince Of Pop Michael Jackson. Although these rumours have yet to be confirmed the press has jumped on them and they are being widely distributed as fact. This follows hot on the heels of boxer Frank Bruno believing he's Frank Dettori, and perhaps strangest of all, guitarist Eric Clapton believing he was Eric Cartman.

Doctors confirmed that there is a rare mental condition called mysenzadiabolacosia which has many indicators including the complete belief that one is actually someone else with the same first name.

David Beckham firmly denied rumours that rock singer David Bowie had claimed to be the famous footballer. He then picked up his acoustic guitar and asked us if we wanted to hear the new version of his hit 'Diamond Dogs'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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