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Thursday, 17 February 2011

image for Lady Gaga Defends Lindsay Lohan
"I smell meat!"

Of all people, Lady Gaga told reporters today that she doesn't think Lindsay Lohan should receive any jail time for her theft of a necklace.

"Like the girl is all messed up, see? Look at her past year or two. She needs help, not another jail sentence. Her theft makes no sense...anyone could see that. Can you get this message to the judge in the case?", she asked one reporter.

Indeed, yesterday Lohan's attorney told the judge that she doubts that the actual value of the necklace is all that high and that Lindsay did not need to take the item.

But back to the Lady.

"It's like me sneaking around a butcher shop slipping a pork chop or two into my pocket to use as an accessory for my meat dress", continued Lady Gaga. "I don't see why she should go to jail. It makes our whole system look bad."

On the other hand, David Letterman reportedly stated that he thought Lohan should be beaten with rods for screwing up his show the other night.

Although the strange behavior of Lohan continues, most agree with Lady Gaga.

"I have nothing against the police. They are just doing their job. I mean, where would I have been if they had not rescued me in Central Park in my meat dress and that pack of dogs came out of nowhere? (I still think I saw an alligator among them.) I doubt the dogs could have recognized where the meat dress ended and where Lady Gaga's tush began."

"Let the police do their important work. Lohan needs a psychiatrist, not a prison matron."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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