SOHO - Russell Brand was in Soho getting his hair done at the The Sir Swishy Swish Salon.
His long time hair stylist Sir Swishy Swish asked how his marriage was going. Brand giggled and said that out of the hundreds of women that he had bedded prior to Katy that none, not one could literally take him to the top of the Swiss Alps as his new bride has done.
Swishy blushed and asked, if Katy was even better than that Danish call girl, Helga "The Tongue Twister" Copensinger?
"And better than than that sexy little hot pepper from Barcelona Ramona "Las Labias" Villarica?"
"And the Tuckasheen triplets from Tripoli, Gina, Tina, and Dina?"
Brand paused for a moment. He looked out the window. And then he glanced at his watch. He raised his eyebrows and finally replied, "Yes...but with a little lower case 'y.'"
Sir Swishy started laughing so hard his Revlon eye liner started running profusely down his cheek and onto his Maybelline lipstick and he suddenly looked like Amy Winehouse after a bad day at the local pub.
After Sir Swishy managed to gain him composure and stopped short of peeing in his Daisy Duke short shorts he told Brand that Emma Watson had just sat in the same very chair as him less than 24 hours ago.
He told Russell that she is such a sweet, kind, caring, and perky young lady.
Russell agreed. He then pointed out that now what Emma needs to do is to get together with him and Ricky Gervais and make a semi-smutty film so that Watson can increase her fan base even more.
Sir Swishy Swish wanted to put an end to the rumor that has been circulating throughout the United Kingdom that he is the real father of Elton John's baby.