Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Wednesday, 16 February 2011

image for Rihanna Pips Cheryl In Brits

There were awkward scenes at the British music industry's glamour bash, The Brits, last night after Rihanna pipped national treasure Cheryl Cole to to the top women's prize.

In fact a tight-lipped Cheryl had to present the Best International Female solo Award to the Umbrella singer.

But in a grim night for the Geordie, she was also beaten to best British Female by folkie Laura Marling.

EIF News & Features' reporter tried to grab another word with Cheryl, having spoken to her the previous night after her success at the Elle Style awards, but a "big lad" advised him to stay away.

However, a Cheryl insider told him: "No, no, no! Of course Cheryl's delighted for the bit... for Rihanna. Couldn't have happened to a nicer girl. Really. We love her.

"And Cheryl's a big, big fan of folk music so she couldn't be happier for what's-her-face. All that Fah-la-la stuff - yeah... we're thinking of doing an album of geordie folk songs - teaming up with Lindisfarne, if any of them are still alive.

"Anyway, we got the Elle Style Award for music. So there. They know what they're talking about over there. Who gives a flying one? Now bugger off... Cheryl says you're not worth it."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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