After several years in the public eye, Royal watchers are beginning to voice their concerns about Kate Middleton's perfection.
No matter how hard they try, they just haven't been able to find any fault with her. She's not fat, she's not anorexic. She's not greedy or pushy. She dresses very well, but not extravagantly and she never makes social mistakes in public. In short, she's perfect princess material.
But a rumour has been circling for a week now about a button that was revealed to be positioned on the back of Kate's head during a photo shoot.
An expert in such buttons, revealed "Its definitely an On/Off switch. She's a robot"
A former Royal Correspondent was said to be unsurprised. She said it was so obvious what the Royal Family had done. "They've never found a Princess who just stood there and looked Pretty and didn't cause problems, that's because Princess's like that don't exist. I knew she was a robot as soon as I saw her. She's a Stepford Wife. That's why she's so boring. She could be the most boring Princess the world has ever seen, but she looks the part and that's all that matters"
A disgraced former member of the Royal family is said to have commented "The reason the engagement was not announced for so long was because it took scientist years to figure out how to make the robot talk. But now they've figured that one out, it appears they've got their perfect Princess. But I do agree with the Royal Correspondent. They could've made her a bit more interesting"
By Katarina Frogpond.