Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 16 February 2011

image for Kate Gosselin Dismisses The Lesbian Rumors As A Plot By Sarah Palin's Tea Bag Party To Discredit Her
A photo of Kate Gosselin that Skippy Viperwater of 'Tittle Tattle Tonight' recently took.

READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin the star of Kate Plus 8 sat in her kitchen and talked with a reporter for Tittle Tattle Tonight.

KatGo, as her kids call her, said that ever since she first appeared on television with her Korean ex-husband on Jon and Kate Plus 8, that she has been the victim of a lot of people who hate her simply because she is young, vibrant, intelligent, sexy, and very pretty.

"Very pretty?" Asked Skippy Viperwater of 3T.

"Yes Skippy, you heard me right. I said very pretty. And I am. Don't you think so or are you maybe one of those sidesaddle riding swishy-swish boys?"

Skippy replied that he was far from gay and stressed that fact by letting Mrs. Gosselin know that just in 2010 alone he had 'put it' to women a total of 19 times.

KatGo asked if it was 19 actual individual times with 19 different women or if it was perhaps 19 times with maybe just two or three women.

Viperwater thought for a moment and he then replied that it was 19 different women and that the 'home run' total was probably somewhere around 38 or 40.

Gosselin raised her eyebrows and asked him if he thought that she was sexy.

Skippy replied that on a scale of 1 to 10, that he figured that she was about a 7.5 in the sexy department.

He then asked Kate about the recent lesbian rumors that were circulating throughout the Internet about her having a lesbian affair with one of her old high school friends.

Gosselin turned red. She truly got upset. She stood up and walked over to the kitchen and spit in the kitchen trash can.

She then turned around and said that she was sick and tired of Sarah Palin and her group of high and mighty, filthy rich, blue-haired Tea Baggers going around trying to discredit her.

KatGo said that ever since she had talked badly about her vacation trip to Alaska with her 8 kids that "Old Crosshairs" Palin has had it in for her.

Gosselin also said that even Bristol the so-called "Pistol" Palin was angry at her because Kate had told Dancing With The Stars judge Len Goodman that Bristol was not anywhere near as good a dancer as she (Kate) was.

Kate then stood up and walked over to where Skippy was sitting. "Come on Skip, lets you and I dance and I'll show you just exactly how damn good a dancer this gorgeous blonde mama of 8 really is."

Viperwater stood up and the two began dancing to a Miley Cyrus song "Can't Be Tamed."

When the song ended Kate asked Skippy if he thought that she was a good dancer.

Skippy started coughing and told her that to be honest he was so shocked at dancing with her in the nude that he had not even bothered to look at his or her feet.

Gosselin started laughing and she said that she had to hurry up and get dressed because the school bus would be arriving soon.

In a related story. 'Dancing With The Stars' judge Bruno Tonioli, aka "The Gaytalian" has denied the rumors that he will be playing the title role in 'The Gina Lollobrigida Story.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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