Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 15 February 2011

image for The Shockingly Stunning Reason Why Barbie Roberts Is Divorcing Ken Carson
Barbie Roberts and Ken Carson's 'Divorce Cake.' (Photo courtesy of Barbie's sister Skipper).

HOLLYWOOD - One of the most celebrated marriages in America is sadly coming to an end.

Tittle Tattle Tonight is reporting that the marriage between Barbara Millicent "Barbie" Roberts and Ken Carson will soon be over.

"Barbie" Roberts, 51, spoke with 3T reporter Papaya Ruckusgarden, 29, and told her that after nine months of seeing a marriage counselor it looks like her and Ken's 'story book' marriage is on the rocks and there appears no chance of salvaging it.

Ken Carson, 49, is reportedly devastated as he truly believed in his heart of hearts that the marriage could have been saved if only Barbie had been more patient and understanding.

Carson also spoke with Ruckusgarden and told her that he is really going to miss Barbie's cute little signature topknot ponytail, which she has worn ever since the two first met in her hometown of Willows, Wisconsin.

He smiled as he said that it is really hard to believe but Barbie still looks pretty much as she did the day they first met. He giggled and said that sure she has a little bit of cellulite here and there but added that most women do and it is really no big deal.

Carson also proudly pointed out that in their entire marriage, Barbie never gained even one pound. He said that she really prided herself in always looking good and eating right.

Ken took a sip of his Diet Pepsi as he recalled how proud Barbie was of her long, gorgeous looking legs which he said seemed to go on forever.

When asked why they never had any kids Ken turned somewhat somber. He looked away and did not answer.

Papaya asked Barbie if she was sure that she wanted to go through with the divorce. She took a drink of her bottled diet water and shook her head in the affirmative.

She pointed out that although she loved Ken very much, there was just no way that she could continue in their sham of a marriage.

Ruckusgarden perked up when she heard Barbie's remark. "A sham of a marriage?" She asked.

"Yes, Papaya, I am sad to say that for all of the years we were married, Ken was really living a lie."

"Is he gay?" Ruckusgarden asked.

"No, he's not gay." Replied Barbie.

Papaya's interest was now utterly peaked.

She asked Barbie to please tell her why it was that she had decided to divorce Ken after being married for so many years.

Barbie with tears in her eyes replied that the reason she was divorcing Ken was because he was anatomically incorrect.

Papaya was shocked. "You mean..."

"Yes," Barbie interrupted. I'm divorcing Ken for anatomical reasons...it hurts me to have to say it - but Ken does not have a wiener."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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