Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 14 February 2011

image for The Legendary Bob Dylan Performs At The Grammys With A Back Up Band of 17
One of the 17 musicians that backed up Bob Dylan at The Grammy Award Show. (Photo courtesy of Ke$ha).

LOS ANGELES - Bob Dylan stood center stage at The Staples Center on the telecast of The 53rd Annual Grammy Award Show. The 1960s music icon is 69, but Snoop Dogg whispered to Kanye West that Dylan looked 79.

But nonetheless, Dylan managed to sing the song "Maggie's Farm" which hardly anyone recognized since they could barely hear Dylan over the sound of his back up band which consisted of 17 musicians.

The back up band was comprised of 7 guitar players, 5 banjo players, 2 mandolin players, 1 stand up bassist, 1 glockenspielist, and 1 musician who some audience members swear was playing a live woodchuck.

Towards the end of the song, Dylan must have remembered that he had brought along his harmonica because he took it out of his wallet and managed to play about 9 notes before the song ended.

Kid Rock, who recently got his six day marriage declared null and void under Michigan's Misappropriation of Prenuptial Ipso Falsification Clause of 1999 remarked that he had never recalled hearing Dylan sound raspier or scratchier.

Eminem noted that he heard 16-year-old Justin Bieber backstage asking John Mayer who the old man wearing the Donald Trump wig was.

And Ozzy Osbourne who was sitting in the very front row with his wife Sharon was asked what he thought about Bob Dylan's performance. Ozzy, known as "The Prince of Darkness" replied, "Welllll, IIIII, ahhhh, guesssss, IIIII, ummmmmm."

Sharon interrupted him and said that what Ozzy was trying to say was that he did not understand a single solitary friggin word that Dylan sang.

Bob Dylan plans to go into the recording studio in two weeks and record his 159th album tentatively titled, "I Forget Now Exactly What The Hell It Was That Was Effen Blowin In The Wind Back In The 60's."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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